February 22, 2013

How To Be A Better Listener

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Written by: Anna

Sometimes the key to a better relationship is as simple as communicating with your partner. Most of us have no problem expressing our frustrations or venting about our jobs, but often we forget to truly listen when our partner is expressing the same things to us.

If you learn to be a better listener, you’ll seem much more supportive and sincere as a boyfriend, and that’s something your woman will certainly take notice of.


1. Be Respect Respectful

You need to acknowledge the value of what she is saying in order to demonstrate that you care about her concerns and opinions. A woman can tell when you aren’t interested in what she is saying, but this will make her appreciate it even more when you take the time to really listen to her.

2. Know When To Keep Quiet

It’s amazing what you can learn when you shut up and let the other person do most of the talking. It’s also amazing how many men try to suggest solutions or corrections for a woman’s problems when she simply wants to vent. Not that wanting to help her is a bad thing, but you need to understand that as soon as you open your mouth and start suggesting things, you’ve stopped listening to her and redirected the conversation to include your own thoughts.

3. Ask Better Questions

One of the easiest ways to demonstrate you’re terrific listening skills is to ask relevant, thoughtful questions about what she is talking about. Again, you’ll want to make sure you aren’t cutting her off mid-sentence or stepping on her toes by taking over the conversation. But asking a few questions shows you are actively listening rather than vacantly nodding your head as she speaks.

4. Don’t Make Assumptions

Any good listener realizes that paying attention to what someone says doesn’t involve jumping to conclusions or zoning out partway through the story because you’re pretty sure how it’s going to end. Plus if you make assumptions about what she is saying, you are more prone to disengage and stop paying close attention, which can turn out horribly if she is presenting a unique point of view but you take on the role of know-it-all and refuse to acknowledge her thoughts and opinions.

5. Don’t Zone Out

This is literally a no-brainer: focus is crucial in practicing good active listening. Whether you’re talking with your girlfriend, your best friend, or you mother, most people can easily recognize when their confidant is distracted by something else. Providing someone with your full attention shows that you consider them to be a priority and value what they have to say.


Good listening is a skill that can be easily honed but it does require practice. The next time your woman wants to vent or tell you about her day, remember these tips and apply them to your situation. Communication is integral to healthy relationships and being a good listening can mean the difference between being happily dating or being perpetually single.